past situations - part 2

August 2, 2005 - Nothing else matters
I wouldn't want to argue with her. I was just telling her the real story that happened in the past and that's what she wanted to hear. How could she say these words to me?... He told me "the time you we're with him again was the time he realize he was not serious anymore. He simply wanted you to be back. That was the time that you had loved him, but he can't trust you anymore... what had happened was merely a product of revenge. You knew he dated someone, and you also did that to him..."
Well. Fine. If that's what Vincent told him. who am I to contest that? Yet I knew he said those words to make her feel better, as what he would always do. He had done that to me before. Saying not-so-nice words about his past, just to make me feel more loved and secured. Everything is now clear. How much I wanted to be nice to her.
She's not a friend... she just wanted an assurance. She wants to make herself believe that he loves her so much. She wanted to make me feel jealous now that she have him. We shouldn't be talking about those stuffs as it doesn't matter anymore. They are together and she just be contented with that. The past is over... whatever happened to us before had gone into oblivion.
Really, nothing else matters...

August 10, 2005 Another Dose of Her
Michelle brought up the past again! I thought it was over & she had moved on. But here she goes again! Even accusing me of being a liar & spreading all those rumors to my friends. I told her, "I never said anything negative to my friends. You don't know my life. I could easily do that, but what would I get from it?" Vincent denied everything and of course that is what she believed in! I understand her, as I would also believe in my husband than with other people.She said that everything was going well until Lora got into the picture. Now, do i believe her? In the first place, I knew her intentions. She was not true. She was not real. I knew she only wanted to know my life. talking to Lora made her feel so fulfilled as she had heared what she wanted to hear... all those negative comments about me! i told her "you don't have to say all those things about him over and over, all the time. once is enough. of course you love him. everyone knows that. you're already married"- i told her "i understand lor for saying those things at my expense as she wanted to please you. you need re assurance & that's what she gave to you. i thought the past is over with you. everything is clear, why do you have to bring it up again? you said you love him, he loves you, your happy and at peace... then live with it. can't you just be contented with that? your already married with him. the past doesn't matter anymore.

August 10, 2005 A Real Copycat
Received another text from her saying that she's contented with her life, she doesn't have any problems & she doesn't dwell on the past... that she never shared anything about me to anyone as there are secrets meant only between us... that my words are safe with her... that she never said anything bad against me... [hmmm, that's what I said to her] All those words had made me laugh!
For the last time, i said "I don't feel any hatred. I should feel hurt as you have accused me of being a liar. Again, I have not said anything bad against you or your family. No matter what i say, you would still believe what's already on your mind. But I still respect you..."

Now I feel so sorry for her. She just needed an assurance that Vincent loves her so much. knew she's just jealous of me & it shows. she's not real, she have intentions. And the worst thing is, she is a real copycat. she said back the things i had said to her, copied my own words, my opinions and own belief. she's just trying to be who i am... with all these, i just laughed out so loud!