thoughts on old age

I realize now that my heart always goes for old people. I admire them for the wisdom they possess, the experiences they had, the struggles and pains, their willingness to fight. Maybe it's because my lolo is already on his late 80's. Days are numbered, and I always pray that he'll be more stronger. I thank him for taking take of us when we we're younger... remembering the years when he accompanies and fetch us to school, when he checks on our studies and grades, when he reminds us to eat too much. He had been a good "daddy" to us. We never call him lolo, we call him daddy until now. My kids now call him "daddy lolo".
We visited him last Sunday and I was thankful he's becoming healthier. Unlike before when he was so weak. I wonder how he feels. I wonder how he feels everyday. Yet, I know he's always looking forward to see his children, his grandchilden's and great grandchildrens.
Old folks are longing, they want to feel that they are still needed.

Being old fears me. Fears because of the sickness that I would have... fears of being weak, unworthy, that some people might think I am a burden. Fearing that I could not provide for the medications, of who would take care of me and my husband. I am just praying that my children would grow up to be good children and that they would have partners with a good heart.